How far is it to Agrabah?


We don’t need to bomb Agrabah, folks!

We can destroy it with solvent!

As your president, I would first get Bill Gates to un-digitize it. We should never have allowed Agrabah to become digitized in the first place! That makes it much more difficult, but I have a way! Bill Gates! He can have all the digitized characters undigitized. That way they can’t infiltrate everyone’s computers and hide in their drives.

Don’t think because a character is digitized he is harmless. Computer Viruses are just digital, but look at the damage they can cause!

What if digital characters get hold of technology like 3D printing? What if they infiltrate  electronic voting boxes?

Next we will have to neutralize Disneyland and Disney World since they are the main supporters and backers of 2 dimensional fantasy characters.

We can then destroy what’s left of Agrabah with solvent, what we call in Virtual Ops “Dip” (I probably am saying stuff that’s classified there).

In my opinion this is the safest and most prudent course.

Only digital lives will be lost. I think the celluloid will be able to be controlled. They fear the dip!

This problem isn’t being taken seriously enough!

I believe I am the only candidate with a viable plan. You can’t just bomb Agrabah out of existence!

It will take web wide carpet bombing of individual, discretely targeted parts of the internet, soldiers on the ground with Dip Machines, and hopefully getting the world wide web completely un-digitized.

We may get cute and likeable Jasmine and Aladdin and the Genii, too, but that is just collateral damage. They don’t have real feelings anyway.

We can’t talk politically correct in face of the great danger we are facing from Agrabah!

Folks! 40% of Trump’s followers, 30% of Republicans and 19% of Democrats believe we must attack Agrabah now!

That comes up to like 89%!

I say that is sufficient reason to attack.

Vote Pop!


About Pop Haydn

I am not originally from the 21st Century myself, but have been stuck here by accident--not entirely my fault--with a bunch of other maroons from another very different time and place... Nevertheless, my companions and I love it here and just like everyone else we are just trying to get by in this exciting and progressive era. With a variety show of steampunk-oriented magic, comedy and music, Pop's company entertains and sells a few bottles of Amazing Miracle Oil, Wonder Elixer, or Magnetized Water.

Posted on December 18, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. As the unofficial Interior Headwear Ambassador I suggest turbans for all official carpet bombing missions. The triad!


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