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We Can Do It!


Pop for President

I want to thank all of you for the wonderful support you have shown for me, for our party and for this important campaign.

We intend to wage a virtual fight for virtual truths, and for completely virtual goals. This election is too important to focus on the things of real importance to the American people and to our children and grandchildren–apparently.

Therefore, we intend to offer ridiculous ideas and many contradictory airy promises and have no intention to deliver on any of them.

The Greater American Confidence Party, or the “Con-Partiers” as we like to call ourselves, represent that thin and eccentric “sanity fringe” of American politics. A vote for us is a vote–not for better government–but for cheaper government.

I believe that in voting for me for president in 2012, you will be getting the kind of government you both expect and deserve.

I am exactly the kind of person and politician anyone with the sense God gave a grape would assume me to be; I don’t make any pretenses. I am not greedy, and I am not an elitist–I will split 50/50 with anyone, great or small.

Don’t be disappointed again! This time, for once, you can vote for a sure-thing!

Put confidence back in the American government!

We will give you the same kind of government you have grown to expect, but at a much cheaper price.

I think that we can find a way to outsource the Congress and the Senate, by getting much cheaper politicians from undeveloped nations.

They may not be any better, but they could work for much lower benefits and pay, and are used to a much smaller scale of graft.

I think that it is only fair that our politicians play on a level playing field with politicians from impoverished nations, and I am convinced they can still compete in the political marketplace if they give it that old American “We can do it!” attitude.

But the easy-flying days are over!

Our politicians need to regain their edge by competing for their jobs with the tough and hungry politicians of the third world.

This could really be better for everyone. There are a lot of experienced, avaricious and ruthless politicians out of jobs right now because of the disruptions in the Middle East and Africa.

I think they could quickly adapt to the Washington environment, and would have every bit the concern for the welfare of the American working people as those who are there now.

There is more to honesty than merely telling the truth; and true truth-telling is much more nuanced and circumscribed by both discretion and concern for others in real life, and it is more lively and more honest in intent than it is earthbound and moribund with fact, and therefore, you could say that I am a thoroughly honest politician, one with unfeigned sincerity, earnestness and a degree of humility that clearly puts me a cut above others seeking this high office.

I promise you I will never lie to the American people without a really, really good reason.

Together we can accomplish great things.

I plan to work really hard to achieve things I couldn’t have considered possible without your encouragement, your unalloyed trust, and without your jaded, sarcastic and obviously perverse sense of humor.

We intend to have some fun, poke some balloons, and generally question authority and raise a rumpus.

Thank you for your kind attention.

–Pop Haydn
Certifiable Genius

About the rumors in the press…


Whitehorse Ranch

Facing the 21st Century

There have been some nasty rumors and innuendoes in the media, and especially here on the world wide internet web, about me and about my sincerity in running for what has become the most important office in the land–the presidency of the United States.

I will not dissemble.

I am, in fact, developing a reality television series. That part is true.

It is the true story of 19th Century expatriates trying to get by in the 21st Century any way they can–the struggles of common hard-working people who are basically undocumented aliens in their own country. These are people who–by no fault of their own–were translated into a world 100 years in the future.

The True Story of these brave and resourceful transplants is available at Pop Haydn’s True Story. The working title is either “Desperate Townfolk” or “Househusbands of the California Desert” but that may change until we get a final working title.

In this little reality series about our village in the California desert there will be sex, violence, nudity, drama, and whatever else it takes to get ratings.

But this is a reality series meant to confront real issues and raise real questions.

We have serious and artistic goals to accomplish that are much more important than the quick infusion of cash this might supply our other projects.

And most importantly, it reflects nothing on my current campaign for the presidency of the United States.

My campaign is much more than just a publicity stunt for a reality television show!

I am surprised that the magazines and talk shows would suggest as much.

Surprised and disappointed!

Why, this is the type of yellow journalism that has soiled news gathering for so long now, and is beneath the contempt of right-thinking individuals who know what to believe when they see it.

Those who have tried to minimize and ridicule my candidacy as such are just desperate and unhappy people…people who may have something to fear from my entrance into the fray.

I don’t know why these media bullies need to pick on a small group of unfortunate maroons from another era who are just trying to get by in the 21st Century like anybody else, but let me just say that whether the show gets picked up or not, my campaign will continue just as seriously.

I will sit here puzzled and saddened by these charges, but undaunted.

My faithful dog Cash is beside me, and he seems to have a higher opinion of me than many of those whose opinions I value less.

Thank you for your attention, and for your continued support in this important cause.

–Pop Haydn

First 100 FREE Campaign Kits Shipped!


Click to go to Pop's Campaign Headquarters

Pop Haydn on the Campaign Trail

We have just shipped out the first 100 free campaign kits to our new members of the Greater American Confidence Party!

The Greater American Confidence Party believes in giving people the kind of government they expect, but at a price they can afford.

We are a part of that thin sanity fringe of American politics. You can find out more about our party and my campaign at the GACP International Headquarters: GACP

To join, you only have to sign up for our mailing list HERE.

The Scarlett Harlott


Fallon Ellingson, better known as the Scarlett Harlott, was the PyrateCon 2008 Grand Marshal in the Pirate Invasion on Bourbon Street parade!

Karin Mckechnie is the dressmaker for this beautiful outfit, as she was for the one in our last post of the beautiful pirate lass Erika Melody.

By the way, Erika Melody is a make-up artist and model and Fallon Ellingson is her mother. Two lovely, lovely pirates.

Pirate Babe:


Costume by Karin Mckechnie

Erika

This wonderful model is Erika Melody, who was Miss May in the Hot Pirate Babes Calendar 2008. I know it is a day late for “Talk Like a Pirate Day,” but I didn’t think I would get any complaints. She is a make-up artist and model, and you can find her page here:

Erika Melody

The costume was made by my dear friend, Karin Mckechnie, who creates fabulous costumes from many eras including Victorian, Steampunk, pirate, Gay Nineties, etc., and for men and women.

Quarter! Give us Quarter!


Robert Newton, Pirate Talker:


Happy “Talk Like a Pirate Day!”

That was no Lady, that was a Pirate!


Mary Read with Anne Bonny and Calico Jack

by Chris Collingwood

“None among Rackams crew were more resolute or ready to board or undertake anything that was hazardous.” So stated Captain C. Johnson in his classic history “A General History of the Robberies and murders of the Most Notorious Pirates (1724). This is his description of both Mary Read and Anne Bonny, without a doubt two of the most famous woman pirates who ever sailed.

From Wikipedia:

“Johnson’s account suggests Anne Bonny was born some time between 1697 and 1705 in Kinsale, Ireland, the daughter of attorney William Cormac and his maidservant, Mary. Cormac separated from his wife and, for a time, raised Anne disguised as a boy (passing her off as a relative’s son). Once the scandal was revealed his legal business was irreparably damaged and so Cormac moved the family to Charleston, South Carolina where, after earning new wealth as a merchant, he bought a large plantation.

“At first, Anne’s family had a rough start in their new home. Her mother died shortly after they arrived in North America. Her father attempted to become an attorney there, but did not do well. Eventually, Anne’s father joined the more profitable merchant business and accumulated for the two of them a substantial fortune.

“When Bonny was 13, she supposedly stabbed a servant girl in the stomach with a table knife. Bonny was a red-haired beauty and considered a good catch. She married a poor sailor and small-time pirate named James Bonny. James Bonny hoped to win possession of his father-in-law’s estate, but Anne was disowned by her father.

“There is no evidence supporting the story that Anne Bonny started a fire on the plantation in retaliation, but it is known that sometime between 1714 and 1718, she and James Bonny moved to Nassau, on New Providence Island in the Bahamas. New Providence was then a sanctuary for English pirates. Many received a “King’s Pardon” or otherwise evaded the law. It is also true that after the arrival of Governor Woodes Rogers in the summer of 1718, James Bonny became an informant for the governor.

“While in the Bahamas, Anne Bonny began mingling with pirates in the local taverns. She met the John “Calico Jack” Rackham, captain of the pirate sloop Revenge, and became his mistress. They had a child in Cuba, although this child’s ultimate fate is unknown. Many different theories state that it was left with friends, died during birth or was simply abandoned. Anne rejoined Rackham and continued the pirate life.

“While she and Rackham were back in New Providence, James Bonny dragged Anne before Governor Rogers, demanding that she be flogged for adultery and returned to him. There was even an offer for Rackham to buy her in a divorce-by-purchase, but Anne refused to be “bought and sold like cattle.” She was sentenced to the flogging, but later Anne and Rackham escaped to live together as pirates. Anne, Rackham, and Mary Read stole the Revenge, then at anchor in Nassau harbour, and put out to sea.

“Rackham and the two women recruited a new crew. Over the next several months, they were successful as pirates, capturing many ships and bringing in an abundance of treasure. Anne did not disguise herself as a man aboard the Revenge as is often claimed. She took part in combat alongside the men, and the accounts of her exploits present her as competent, effective in combat, and respected by her shipmates. She and Mary Read’s name and gender were known to all from the start, including Governor Rogers, who named them in a “pirates wanted” circular published in the continent’s only newspaper, The Boston News-Letter. Although Bonny has historical renown as a female Caribbean pirate, she never commanded a ship of her own.

“In October 1720, Rackham and his crew were attacked by a “King’s ship”, a sloop captained by Jonathan Barnet under a commission from the Governor of Jamaica. Most of Rackham’s pirates did not put up much resistance as many of them were too drunk to fight; other sources indicate it was at night and most of them were asleep. However, Read, Bonny, and an unknown man fought fiercely and managed to hold off Barnet’s troops for a short time. Rackham and his crew were taken to Jamaica, where they were convicted and sentenced by the Governor of Jamaica to be hanged. According to Johnson, Bonny’s last words to the imprisoned Rackham were that she was “sorry to see him there, but if he had fought like a Man, he need not have been hang’d like a Dog.”

“After being sentenced, Read and Bonny both “pleaded their bellies“: asking for mercy because they were pregnant.

“In accordance with English common law, both women received a temporary stay of execution until they gave birth. Read died in prison, most likely from a fever, though it has been alleged that she died during childbirth.

“There is no historical record of Bonny’s release or of her execution. This has fed speculation that her father ransomed her; that she might have returned to her husband, or even that she resumed a life of piracy under a new identity.

“The Oxford Dictionary of National Biography states that “Evidence provided by the descendants of Anne Bonny suggests that her father managed to secure her release from jail and bring her back to Charles Town, South Carolina, where she gave birth to Rackham’s second child. On December 21, 1721 she married a local man, Joseph Burleigh, and they had 10 children. She died in South Carolina, a respectable woman, at the age of eighty and died between April 22–24, 1782. She was buried on April 25, 1782.”

“Some claim that she was smuggled away by her father, and that this was made possible by his far reaching and favorable merchant connections. This is a probable solution to the mystery. After all, her father’s business connections had saved Anne a number of times before. Rackham’s crew spent a lot of time in Jamaica and the surrounding area. Although the crew, including Anne, was discovered or caught on a number of occasions, Bonny always escaped punishment and harm. This was probably because of her father’s business contacts in Jamaica.

“Though it is generally believed that there were only one or two important female pirates, in fact there were several. The Irish chieftaness Grace O’Malley has been described as a “Pirate Queen”.

“Anne Bonny remains the most famous, and has appeared in many works. Art from the time often depicts Anne Bonny in men’s clothes, shirt hanging open, pistols smoking, the perfect image of a female warrior. In addition, there were many books published about female pirates. Many hold a striking resemblance to Anne’s story, even down to minute details of her formative years and personal life.”

It’s “Talk Like a Pirate Day!”

Blackbeard the Pirate:


Black Beard

Growing up in eastern North Carolina, it was the dread pirate Blackbeard that haunted my fantasies and dreams. I had spent time in Bath, where he supposedly had an underground tunnel into Governor Tryon’s residence through which he would clandestinely meet with his protector and split the take. The Outer Banks and the Pamlico Sound were my summer haunts as they were his. Everywhere about was evidence of wrecked and abandoned ships, Moonspinners, pirates, and the ghosts of another time. Treasure Island was one of my favorite films. The Queen Anne’s Revenge has been located and is being excavated.

From wikipedia.com:

“Edward Teach (c. 1680 – 22 November 1718), better known as Blackbeard, was a notorious English pirate who operated around the West Indies and the eastern coast of the American colonies.

“Teach was most likely born in Bristol, although little is known about his early life. In 1716 he joined the crew of Benjamin Hornigold, a pirate who operated from the Caribbean island of New Providence. He quickly acquired his own ship, Queen Anne’s Revenge, and from 1717 to 1718 became a renowned pirate. His cognomen, Blackbeard, was derived from his thick black beard and fearsome appearance; he was reported to have tied lit fuses under his hat to frighten his enemies.

“After parting company with Hornigold, Teach formed an alliance of pirates and with his cohort blockaded the port of Charleston, South Carolina. He successfully ransomed its inhabitants and then soon after, ran his ship aground on a sandbar near Beaufort, North Carolina. Teach accepted a royal pardon but was soon back at sea, where he attracted the attention of the Governor of Virginia, Alexander Spotswood. Spotswood arranged for a party of soldiers and sailors to find and capture the pirate, which they did on 22 November 1718. During a ferocious battle, Teach was killed by a small force of sailors led by Lieutenant Robert Maynard.

“A shrewd and calculating leader, Teach avoided the use of force, relying instead on his fearsome image to elicit the response he desired from those he robbed. Contrary to the modern-day picture of the traditional tyrannical pirate, he commanded his vessels with the permission of their crews and there are no known accounts of his ever having harmed or murdered those he held captive. He was romanticised after his death, and became the inspiration for a number of pirate-themed works of fiction across a range of genres.”

Ladies talk like Pirates, too…


Tomorrow is Talk Like a Pirate Day for ladies, too.